Just Play Dumb at Work
I work for a large US government organization. After October the 7th there was a tone-deaf but trying hard email sent out to staff about the terrible events and how awful for Israel and Gaza. A corrective (but still tone-deaf) email was subsequently sent. The union to which I belong sent out a strongly worded email condemning Hamas and the events that took place. Being one of the very few identifiably Orthodox Jews in my work place it was natural for people to seek me out, At first there was a flurry of questions and of guarded sympathy for it is well known throughout my department that I have sons who fought in the Israeli army, the IDF. I tried to keep all conversations apolitical because in a very mixed environment you do not know what opinions you may trigger - from ignorance or a place of some basic knowledge. The last thing I needed was a political argument at work. ........... And then it became too much. I was/am working through my own personal reaction to the trauma of 10/7 and the ongoing trauma of having sons fighting in the war, and the almost daily questions became triggering. I eventually put up a sign on my wall that said "The Denial Bubble has been invoked. No IDF/Israel/war talk here."
Four months after October 7 and 4 months into this horrible war no one at work talks to me about the Israel situation unless I bring it up. Some will ask after the family, in a general fashion, but for the most part it's as if this HUGE part of my life isn't happening. No one talks about it in front of me. Honestly, I prefer it that way. I need to be able to do my job without being triggered every 5 seconds, and I also need to have a place I can be someone that isn't constantly triggered about Israel as I am in my outside of work life.
I'm supposed to be living my "authentic life" but if I want to retain the little that is left of my sanity I have to compartmentalize. At work I am an efficient employee with no personal baggage - at home I allow myself to feel all the feels, and cry, and mourn, and scream and yell, and sob like there's no tomorrow. I don't have the place for that at work. I can't be like that at work - I need my job.